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I woke up in total darkness. A darkness so complete that light but a memory, a figment of the past. It took me a moment to remember where I was and why I was in the dark. It all came back to me in bits and pieces.
Leaving with no one to say goodbye to.
Agreeing to participate in the tests.
Being put into cryogenic storage.
The white walls of the facility.
The automated voice directing me.
The fear as I started to realize what was really going on.
The frantic planning.
The opportunity.
The struggle.
Escaping.
Fleeing.
Falling.
I close my eyes - not that it makes much of a difference, I cannot shut out the memories, only these harsh, glaring lights  - and think about how I had gotten into this mess. I had had no idea what I was signing up for really was, but it’s too late for regrets; regrets don’t help me. Regret is for the weak. I am strong. A survivor.
I had gotten up slowly, gingerly checking for any possible damage. My mental search had revealed nothing other than a couple of small stings, several sore areas, a headache, and a distracting pressure in my ears. I was lucky I supposed; it was a very long fall, long enough for me to think: “this is it.”
Blinking - curse these lights that fill my eyes with their burning brightness - I think about how things could have been different, should have been different. This fight is not my fight. This life is not my life. This earth is not my earth. This reality is not mine. The fall would have, should have been my end. But no, Life’s calling was too strong. I survived.
As I fell, first there was shock. Then came the fear. The overwhelming, life-preserving fear. So I pulled the trigger on the stolen tech. The device did whatever it was made to do, and by reversing the gravity of my descent or some other such thing, the device allowed me to survive.
Squeezing my murderous, traitorous eyes shut tight, I tell myself that I was acting on instinct. I did whatever it took to stay alive. Looking back, I almost wish the device had failed, or better yet, that I had never been involved in any of this. I would have lived out my inconsequential life on the streets. Roughing it out for another 15 years before the bombs came if what I've heard is true. I would have died never knowing what hit me. But no, I wanted to be a part of something bigger, and I needed the cash. Needed it in that life. The life that was once mine. Those strips of paper mean nothing. Not here. Not now.
After the fall, things were bad. I mourned the loss of the light. I screamed out my anger.  I paid homage with my tears. I feared the dark. The dark was my enemy. I hated the dark. But one can only lounge in self-pity for so long. One listens to the voice Life or one fades away, is lost into the Darkness. But I did not lose myself to the Darkness. I embraced it. The Darkness became my friend. My protector.
I’m not insane, I know it. I see no ghostly apparitions; I hear no bodiless voices; there is only me. Just me. And that’s all I care about. It is my anchor, a mantra that tells me everything will be all right. There is only me. I am not insane. There is only me. I am not insane. There is only me. I am not insane. There is only me. I am not insane...
I quickly learned the ways of the Darkness. One must learn quickly or die, and I am a survivor. I listened to the Silence and drank from the trickling streams of water. I felt the vast Emptiness and fed upon the children of the Darkness. They were my brothers and sisters, living in the Darkness as did I. But the Way of the Darkness is unforgiving, and they died so that I might live. Time became my father, his passing the rock upon which I fixed my mind. There was no day, no night. No hours, no minutes. Only Time. Time told me that I was still alive.
I turn my head to the side, receiving what little relief I could from the horrible, piercing light that I hate. I must get away from here, and soon. I must return to the Darkness. Or I must return to the Light. But the way of the Light is corrupt. The way of the Light will not last. The Light built  its mighty empire and ravaged the mother earth that had given birth to it. The Light spread, reaching ever farther and burning up all its greedy fingers could grasp. And thus the Light started to fade. Burned out by it’ own aggressive march over and through the earth. But still the Light refuses to loosen its grasp. The Light and its ways are addicting.
Eventually my friends and companions Darkness, Silence, and Emptiness led me to something different and new under the watchful eye of Time. I found you, here, in your underground city. But they tricked me, they brought me to this place of death, and you took me, stole me away. You dragged me into this place that you stole from the earth. You took it; and you changed it. You drove back the Darkness with your electricity. You destroyed the Emptiness with your buildings. You murdered the Silence with your machines. You took Time captive and forced him to work for you.
I should have trusted my instincts, should have run from the cursed light and sound and structure that is this place. A place of stagnation, you are too set in your ways, that was your mistake before, the reason you're down here now, but you can’t change, can you? You live your life for yourself you monster.
You probably think that I’m a lunatic. I don’t really care, not now, not anymore. All I want to do is forget, to move on, to live my life, any life, but you won’t let me. You make me relive everything over and over again. Why can’t I go in peace? I thought it was over, that I had escaped my living nightmare. But now I’m stuck in here because you won’t let me leave.
I have to leave. I must. The Light will lead to death for all. The Darkness will protect those close to it. I must survive. To live. That is all that is left to me. Death is ever present, creeping all around me, but I will not be overcome, not if I have anything to say about it.
You can’t keep me here forever. You can’t contain me, surrounded by white walls. I am a child of Darkness, and I will return to my master.
Hearing the sound of metal rasping against metal, I raise my head. Feeling a breath of hot, stale are ghost across my skin, I open my eyes, baring them to the harsh, unforgiving light. And I see It.
What are you doing? What is that?! Stay away! You can’t do this! You can’t kill me! I-----
Another short story from my Creative Writing class, now rewritten
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:iconfeanor-the-dragon:
Feanor-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
...O.O
Incredible....
There are no words to describe the masterfully conveyyed depth of feeling that caused this story to wholly absorb my mind.
Amazing.
:worship:
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you! =D
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:iconwampe:
Wampe Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
Aack. This is pretty cool! I wish I could write like this-- All I ever got last semester was a whole bunch of criticism from my teacher. haha
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Student General Artist
haha yeah
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:iconthewritingdragon:
TheWritingDragon Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is really good! :love: I like the first person narration and how in the end we realize that he's telling his own story. :D I like the unknown mysterious aspects of it that make you wonder throughout the whole piece what really happened and never getting to know... that's the fun of it, because then the reader gets to draw their own conclusions ;)

It was very descriptive and I loved the whole short plot! :D Great job!!!
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Ahww thank you! Any suggestions for improvement?
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:iconthewritingdragon:
TheWritingDragon Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Improvement... maybe fulfill the story? I haven't read any other of your pieces but this one didn't really have that satisfying ending that I craved as a reader ;) I think it would draw more people to your work if you gave it a good ending, ya know? but that's not for every time!!! I really liked the unusual ending :D

As for grammar and spelling, I usually see people who lack in one or both, and your's was spot on ;)
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Haha thanks, and I plan to be polishing this one up and filling it in, going far more in depth, because I'm going to be submitting it to an ACSI Creative Writing Festival
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:iconthewritingdragon:
TheWritingDragon Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
cool! :love: good luck with that!!!
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:iconurahameshi:
UraHameshi Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Student Interface Designer
Very nice story and writing :)
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:iconm-j-gagne:
M-J-Gagne Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting story. I see a number of themes here - the decisions we make and there unforeseeable consequences; the sense of trying to escape one fate only to find another that ultimately may lead to the same or worse end; the sense of reliving ones life, especially with the desire to undo the past or remake the future.

The science in this piece do a good job of reflecting these themes. Cryogenics is about survival, wanting to escape our mortal fate and perhaps, in the process, awake to a grand future. Of course the future we wake up to may not be all that pleasant. The "device" that interfered with his gravity as he fell is a reflection of our need or desire to control our environment, and thus our fate; to prevent the fall that is otherwise inevitable. The text also suggests that there is some sort of device at play that allows memories to be recalled. The attempt to augment are own flawed and frail memory, is not without its consequences. As this story suggests, he is as more haunted by his missteps than saved by them. To recall is to relive and to relive is to face the unchangeable.

Although this is an enjoyable read I do find it a bit hard to follow in some places. For instance, at the beginning he appears to be in, or emerging from, Cryo-stasis and then he is reflecting on what has happened up to that point. However, its not clear when the memory ends. Towards the end of the story it appears as though he is being interrogated through memory recall of some sort. Are these the same people that have him in Cryo-stasis? There also seems to be a contradiction in which you mention at the beginning that he selected to participate in the project, presumably Cryo, but then he later laments that he "didn't ask to be here." Where is here in relation to the beginning of the story?
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:iconfly-gonz:
Fly-gonz Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
Interesting! I like it. Though it feels a little "jumpy" in places. Maybe add some more details?
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student General Artist
I left it ambiguous intentionally, but where do you think I should add a little more specifically?
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:iconfly-gonz:
Fly-gonz Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
Sorry, didn't mean it that way. I mean there are lots of places with tons of detail, whereas there are places with fewer detail. For example, the speaker spends a lot more time talking about the pain of falling and imminent death, but relatively little on the device and the surroundings.
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Student General Artist
I see what you mean. I could probably do more on the surroundings, but not on the device because I want the beginning to be as up to interpretation as possible :) (and I don't know what to do without sounding like I'm copying Portal 2)
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:iconangerissues1234:
AngerIssues1234 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Holy bean pies...I really love this!
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you so much!! :iconimsohappyplz:
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:iconangerissues1234:
AngerIssues1234 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's my pleasure! :iconmypleasureplz:
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:iconavatargirl251:
avatargirl251 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
What type of writing crack are you on cuz I want some ._. this is really good dude your amazing alot better then my shit I write but I never took a creativity writing class
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student General Artist
It's just regular old me! And do you really think it's that good?
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:iconavatargirl251:
avatargirl251 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
xD hahah nice I really do like it ur super good haha not like my stuff alot all my stuff get people confused
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student General Artist
you might want to ask for someone else to edit your stuff before you post it. That always helps :)
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:iconavatargirl251:
avatargirl251 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Yeah I should but some things you kinda don't want anyone you know know to read
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student General Artist
send it to me in a note. I'll edit the heck out of it, trust me :)
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:iconavatargirl251:
avatargirl251 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Haha sure I'll do that next time if I have anytime to type up one of my one shots
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:iconeakabakjian:
EAKabakjian Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Student Photographer
Impressive.
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:iconcynicalpsychic:
CynicalPsychic Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Student General Artist
:icondelightfulplz:
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:iconeakabakjian:
EAKabakjian Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Student Photographer
(:
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